The Plight & Plot of Princess Penny
The 2nd Story in the TaleSpins Trilogy
TaleSpins was my fist book ever, published back in 2013 (Hey! 10th anniversary!) It’s a trilogy of twisted fairytale retellings and original mash-ups. The first story is about Creepy, the previously unknown 8th dwarf. You can read that intro here.
Today comes the intro to the second story about a princess who hires a witch to get revenge on a Mean Girl at school. A troll she meets along the way thinks that is a very bad idea.
People have really responded to the moral lessons in this mix of fairytale kingdom and modern-day high school. While I did publish a comic book adaptation of Creepy the 8th dwarf’s story, Princess Penny’s further (unfinished) development involves a stage play for school theaters and even an animated feature film.
Enjoy!
[ Illustrations by John Skewes IG @skewesart ]
The Plight & Plot of Princess Penny
This is the story of Penny Lemieux.
Most of it’s strange, but all of it’s true.
Or perhaps that should read the opposite way.
We won’t ever be certain. (Well . . . at least not today.)
Penny was the Royal Princess of the place from which she came.
It was one of those oddball, storybook kingdoms that doesn’t have a name.
In fact the only thing she knew was its location “far away”.
“Far away from what?” Penny wondered, but never bothered to say.
Penny’s Dad was King (of course), and that made Mom the Queen.
As Princess, Penny did her own thing. Last week she turned fifteen.
Most of the time she kept to herself, and she had her own personal style:
Dark eyeliner, six earrings total and her crooked, smirking smile.
Her jet-black hair hung over one eye as it fell around her head.
Her favorite thing was a T-shirt saying: My Stepmom Wants Me Dead.
She didn’t have a stepmom; it was a “fairy tale princess” joke.
She wore it for the stares she got and the shock it did evoke.
Her grade point average was just that: “average.” Her report cards showed mostly Cs.
The kids at school avoided her like she had some contagious disease.
The collective opinion was that Princess Penny was just all kinds of mean
And all caught up in what was known as the “V.I.P. Royalty” scene.
Her reputation was she was vain and liked things done her way.
They said she tried on shoes and jewelry, and counted her money all day.
Although indeed Penny had no friends, those other things were untrue.
People misjudged her left and right from their ignorant point of view.
When kids talk of one who is not in the group, it’s easiest just to agree.
And repeat the rumors of nasty behavior they never did actually see.
With confidence (and more than a little frustration), Princess Penny could surmise
That one girl in particular had started all these lies.
A teenage diva named Darcy DeLupus, in an act of social survival,
Had targeted Penny as a first-class freak and called the girl her rival.
The situation annoyed the Princess, but she didn’t let it show.
She simply stayed away from places Darcy’s crowd would go.
You’d think someone with Royal Status could easily get payback.
But the solution came from an unlikely place: a convenience store magazine rack.
At the end of a boring article on forest fire prevention,
A quarter-page ad with big bold type caught Princess Penny’s attention.
Reading the headline: “got enemies?” made Penny feel strangely nervous.
Someone who called herself a witch was selling an unusual service.
Penny read the ad with haste, just getting the general gist.
Standing in the store, flipping and skimming, there was some information she missed.
She could see this entrepreneurial witch had made it her business task
To exact revenge against anyone. As a client, you need only ask . . .
(… and pay the small nominal fee that’s due.)
(… and sign a contract that placed liability with you.)
Although Penny had no experience with this, it seemed like a pretty good deal.
Darcy would get what she deserved if this “dark magic” was for real.
Excited, Penny bought the magazine then rushed home to answer the ad.
She had a habit of acting on ideas, then deciding the good from the bad.
The next morning she got up before the sun and filled a modest sack.
Some light provisions for the uncharted walk, and more for the charted walk back.
Her trek took her into a dark and dreary (yet stereotypical) wood.
Thick trees and strange noises gave her a chill she ignored as best as she could.
When she came to a ravine with a rickety bridge, she stopped to contemplate.
No way could this broken-down, splintered thing hold even her modest weight.
Before she had time to make a plan, a strange creature came down from a tree.
A short, wrinkled troll with big bug eyes and a scraggly gray goatee.
He said his name was Jink, and she saw his teeth were spotted with moss.
She rolled her eyes and said: “Let me guess. I answer your question to cross.”
Jink looked confused. “I’ve no mystical questions.” Then he asked the regular kind:
“Why are you here?” “Where are you going?” and “Whom do you hope to find?”
She didn’t care to share her story – or even her name – with this thing.
Although he probably lived nearby, what assistance could he bring?
If it weren’t for the precarious bridge ahead, she would have just kept walking.
But she was stuck with the smelly troll who wouldn’t stop his talking.
He insisted that she heed his warnings and make her intentions clear.
Couldn’t she sense the dangerous things that were dangerously near?
He said she didn’t seem the type to have business in these parts.
She looked more at home at a garden party, being served fizzy juice and tarts.
“How rude!” thought Penny, who long ago had learned her right from wrong.
She’d decide for herself (thank you much) where she did and didn’t belong.
These woods lacked a certain pleasantness, but they were part of all outdoors.
“My business,” she finally told the troll, “is really no business of yours!”
She stepped upon the wobbly bridge, determined not to show her fear.
Just when she thought he might call out, Jink seemed to disappear.
On shaky legs she made it across. The whole walk she held her breath.
Three times a board broke under her foot, and she almost fell to her death.
She expected a dark and ominous castle on some treacherous, rocky cliff,
But the witch’s address was a quaint little cottage that made her wonder if
She’d come to the wrong location or was somehow else mistaken.
Could the resident here cook up evil revenge that she could have a stake in?
The welcome mat was made of shortbread. The knocker was a candy cane.
The whole place had a very UN-witchlike quality that Penny could not explain.
Before she could knock she heard a click, and the door swung open wide.
A little old lady in an apron dress said: “Good morning! Please, do come inside!”
Curious to find out what happens? Click the book cover for the Amazon link.
OR if you’re an audiobook fan, TaleSpins is narrated by Emmy and Golden Globe winner Paul Giamatti. Click the image to see a video preview featuring art from the comic book adaptation of 8: The Untold Story that I mentioned before. Audiobook purchase links are on the YouTube page.
Lastly, here’s the full cover art and the original drawing of Princess Penny done by . . . ME. I gave the sketch to John Skewes (IG @skewesart), who took it from there. I made little Penny buttons that I gave away at book fairs. Teen girls really connected with her. Even though they didn’t know who she was or what her story was, those buttons always went fast.
Thanks for reading! Next week the intro to Jack’d, the final story of the TaleSpins trilogy. Be sure to subscribe so you won’t miss a thing!
UPDATE: The intros to all 3 TaleSpins stories are up. Find the other 2 via these links:
